I began posting here over a year ago, when my blog at Xanga (and the community there) began to disintegrate. Also disintegrating, was my father's health and mental state.
What I had hoped would be the start on the path to recovery for him...was not to be.
Five days after I posted 'Daddio', he died.
Though he was (mentally) miserable and in poor health (part of my 'coaxing', was to encourage him to continue seeking medical treatment, and to help him realize how much he was hurting himself by not taking the medications he was on more seriously.) , his death was a very sudden thing for me and my family.
I found him, collapsed in my parent's bathroom, one afternoon when he didn't answer the door.
Though it was horrifying, it wasn't surprising to me...he'd given up. I could see it. It was simply heartbreaking, knowing someone you love and idolize, someone so funny and smart, and so tough and loved, had nothing 'good' in their life to live for.
That gives me new perspective. I'm taking nothing for granted, and I'm finding the good things in my life and I'm truly enjoying them, and appreciating them, and even when terrible things happen, I'm going to be ok...and love the hell out of what I've got.
I'm not going to be afraid, or sad, and I'm going to get out there and see, and do, and be.
It's a good planet, and I just wish my Dad could have appreciated it a bit more before he left it.
Before the unplanned hiatus, I'd planned to use this blog to post images I've taken, preferably on a daily to semi daily basis.
I now return you to our previously scheduled program:
Horsetail Falls, Oregon
Photo by Samantha Kam 2009